Friendship on Stage at the State of the Union

Did anyone notice the warm embrace shared between President Barack Obama and Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords just before the January 24th State of the Union address?  I pay close attention to reactions and body language as much as I do the spoken word. Or maybe even more. As the President moved through the aisle greeting members of congress and distinguished guests, the stage had already been set for this moment. A year ago, Congresswoman Giffords was severely injured. The victim of a shooting that shocked, angered and saddened the entire nation. She wasn't present at last year's State of the Union address. She was struggling to stay alive. Her husband, NASA astronaut Mark Kelley was there to represent her.

One year later Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords is back on her feet. It has been an unimaginable road to recovery. She has many miles ahead of her as the healing process continues. But deep inside her, in that place where you draw strength from, I know it as Spirit, hers is relentless. Even though a deranged gunmen did all he could to extinguish her fiery commitment to service, she lives, she breathes, she moves forward and she  continues to inspire!

The vicious Arizona shooting took the lives of six and wounded 13 others. And it happened on President Barack Obama's watch. Senseless agony and heartache. So when they embraced it looked as if they did so with every inch of arm they had to extend. Reaching out to hug, hold and honor. And they stood there and rocked side to side. And in one final testament to their friendship and support of each other Congresswoman Giffords laid her head on President Obama's shoulder and closed her eyes. It was an authentic moment of caring between friends.

http://www.usatoday.com/video/news/raw-video-obama-hugs-giffords-at-state-of-union/1412503106001

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/video/rep-debbie-wasserman-schultz-cries-at-gabby-giffords-resignation-15439114

The next day Giffords stepped down from her seat in Congress so she can focus on her recovery. Standing by her side, colleague and good friend South Florida Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman- Shultz. Wasserman-Schultz spoke on Giffords behalf as she read her letter of resignation. But before she read the official statement she tearfully talked about her friend Gabby and everything she and her family have endured this past year. And with her voice cracking she offered a personal reflection, “It's important to remember that no matter what we argue about on this floor or in this country, there is nothing more important than family and friendship. And that should be held on high above all else."         

Sounds good to me!

Another Murder in My Hometown

Around 6pm on Tuesday January 18, 2012 Miquel Torres of Newark, NJ was working at the store he owned. Forty minutes later he was pronounced dead at University hospital.  He was fatally shot at gun point. Police suspect the motive was robbery.

When I was a young girl lived not far from this crime scene. My home and grammar school were  within walking distance of Mr. Torres' store. Back then I would walk up the block with my friends through this neighborhood on my way to the park not worried about bullets flying or store owners dying. The streets were safer back in the day. Violence wasn't part of the neighborhood's fabric like it is now. It felt comfy, strong and reliable. Now its dangerous, weak and difficult to trust.

Many years later Dad continues to live in my childhood home. While driving there today,  I stopped at a traffic light by the corner store where Mr. Torres probably worked hard to sustain his business. I sat at the red light and noticed the all too familiar yellow crime scene tape, the police patrol car and a TV news crew. The light turned green and I pulled off  past the store where I noticed a man speaking to a woman. They both looked sad. But the woman's face grimaced with sorrow and despair. Maybe she knew Mr. Torres. Maybe she lived in this gun ridden and violent part of town. Whoever she was she felt the tragedy of this loss of life. Last summer this same intersection was riddled with bullets that claimed one life from a drive by shooting.

Police say whoever shot Miquel Torres didn't get much for their desperate act. Apparently business was very slow. The lottery machine was broken and he wasn't accepting food stamps. So chances are there wasn't a large amount cash on hand. Maybe he gave the assailant the few dollars he had in his pocket.  Maybe the shooter was pissed off  because there he was he standing on the edge of destruction about to throw his life away trying to play gangsta for nothing but chump change.

The murderer got away. Police are looking for two suspects. The investigation is on going. The authorities have released photos of the predators taken from the surveillance camera. Dad and I talked about today's shooting that took place down the hill not far from house. It's like living in a war zone surrounded by heavy artillery.  I kissed Dad goodbye and he said, "Don't drive back that way." I didn't. I took another street. Along the way at a major intersection stood a big digital law enforcement sign. You couldn't miss it. In flashing red letters it pleaded:

REWARD FOR INFORMATION. YOUR HELP NEEDED.  JNC MINI MARKET STORE OWNER MURDER. 

Just this week there have been seven shootings in Newark, NJ. According to published reports, Miquel Torres leaves behind a wife, a 6 year old son and two teenage step children. The 37 year old store owner is Newark's third homicide this year.

Someone said to me this weekend that Newark is really coming around. There are great plans for Newark. In the downtown area the infrastructure is getting stronger.  Well good for downtown! But what about around town where people live, own businesses and try to raise families like Miquel Torres?

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2012/01/newark_police_seek_two_suspect.html

Remembering Reverend Martin Luther King Jr.

Today is Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday. He would be 83 years old.

In honor of his memory the over riding theme is A Call to Service.  A fitting tribute to a leader whose life embodied dedication to serving his fellow man. When you look around your communities the opportunities to serve are endless. No matter who you are or where you live there's always an opportunity to serve because someone is in need of something. Even if its just a visit or a helping hand. A call to serve is within all of our reach. We just have to answer the call and give of our time.

For a list of events near you check out   
http://mlkday.gov/










I attended a Martin Luther King Jr. Remembrance Celebration sponsored by the New Jersey MLK Commemorative Commission entitled A Mission Still to Fulfill.    http://nj.gov/state/programs/dos_program_mlk.html
     

The keynote speaker, Baruti Kafele shared three questions that have become mile markers in his journey:

1. Who are you?
2. What are you about? 
3. What recent evidence do you have that substantiates your claim? 

Kafele is an educator, principal of "The Mighty", Newark Tech High School in Newark, New Jersey. Under his leadership Newark Tech, once considered a low performing school, has emerged as one of America's best high schools, according to U.S News and World Report Magazine. So he practices what he preaches and he instills in his students as well as his teachers the importance of looking ahead and pressing on through the struggle. Owning your life's potential and never looking back.  Always looking forward.  Its an empowering message he calls 'attitude transformation'.

Kafele explained how in all the many marches organized and or led by Dr. King, some so perilous that injuries were incurred and lives lost, the marchers never looked back. Dr. King never displayed uncertainty about his direction. Dr. King walked upright with humility, faith and conviction. Determined to succeed even in the face of death.  So in terms of educating our children, Kafele believes we have to aim higher and dig deeper. Kafele urged his young listeners to learn about their history so they can understand that struggle in the face of adversity is nothing new.  

The Struggle continued then. The Struggle continues now.

Color, Gender and Race

"Beauty is a Small Piece of a Much Bigger Animal"
This comment is offered early on in a unique and sensitive exploration of the issue of colorism in the African-American community and globally. The documentary, "Dark Girls" primarily takes a look at an unspoken form of racial bias prevalent in the Black community. How darker skinned African- Americans  are judged and ridiculed by some in their own community because of the darkness of their skin color.  (Just look at recent chatter regarding Blue Ivy Carter and skin color http://colorlines.com/archives/2012/01/on_baby_blue_ivy_carter_and_alleged_ugliness.html)

"Dark Girls" carefully creates a historical context to illustrate how these negative perceptions and stereotypes are the remnants of slavery. Post emancipation and generations later African-Americans continue to struggle with identity, self-worth and feelings of inferiority. The documentary explores this very complex issue and its devastating impact on family, relationships between men and women. And how women relate to each other.

"Dark Girls" is a hard hitting film that begs for answers. That cries out for solutions. But even the filmmakers admit that there are no easy fixes to this painful aspect of the African-American experience. But they do take time after every screening to answer questions from the audience. To engage in a dialogue. A dialogue that they hope will begin the process of healing.

We watched "Dark Girls" last night in Harlem during the film's tour stop at the legendary Apollo Theater. Harlem's roots are unapologetically Afrocentric. Harlem's history is world renowned for black pride, culture, struggle, politics, movements and the soul of a people working hard to overcome, to strengthen, to sustain and celebrate their Blackness. So needless to say, the story of "Dark Girls" was profoundly relevant.  It struck both a cord and a nerve. Emotions were high.

It's not everyday that your hurtful secret is told on the big screen for all to see.

But as the credits rolled they left feeling hopeful that the possibility of healing is within reach.

 And a final comment from the film left them feeling more empowered.
"You Are the Keeper Of Your Own Soul."

"Dark Girls" is produced by award winning Directors/Producers D. Channsin Berry and Bill Duke

"Dark Girls" continues its nationwide tour in concert venues across the country.

For more information check out the official "Dark Girls" website

http://officialdarkgirlsmovie.com/

My Bereavement Support Group, Thank You!

From October to right before Christmas I participated in a bereavement support group.  As summer came to an end my level of anxiety and sadness increased in anticipation of the fast approaching holiday season.   The hospice that Mom was in kept in touch and sent out pamphlets of information. The literature offered resources about coping with the loss of a loved one.  It mentioned support groups as one option. Never one to shy away from expressing my feelings I researched groups in my area.

Every Monday from 6:30pm - 8:30pm we gathered around a small table in a local church. We were a  diverse group from different cultures. Most came to grieve the loss of a spouse or partner. I and one other were grieving our Mothers. There were a great deal of tears and much sadness.  We passed around a box of Kleenex and shared memories of loved ones while trying to figure how to move forward in this new space of aloneness.

The group was led by an experienced facilitator. It was awkward at first. It's not easy to share your pain with strangers. But we were all tied together through the familiarity of heartache. That time together gave us a nurturing space to sort through our despair and look forward with a little less fear and a little more optimism.  We talked about our dread of the holiday season and family traditions that are now and forever altered.  Each of us listening to one another, learning how to be kind to ourselves while preparing for the season of joy.

  Although it was hard as hell I made it through the holiday season. At Christmas dinner I sat in Mom's chair. That was the moment I had been anticipating with such sadness and angst. I felt her spirit that day like I do everyday. She does not want me to be discouraged. My family and I celebrated Mom through our love, laughter and memory.

 Time goes on. Life is to be lived. The support group helped me begin to come to terms with the way my life has changed. I understand that I have to figure out how to bend and adjust to the Life changes that are inevitable. I learned how crucial it is to take care of me.  I now know that I have to be patient with myself. Grief is a journey that is different for everyone.

For more information on Bereavement Support Groups

http://vnahomecare.org/bereavement_services.html

Dialogue in the Dark

There's a guided tour in lower Manhattan that allows you to experience what it's like to navigate a bustling metropolis like New York City without the sense of sight. Husband and I took the 45 minute tour this weekend. Equipped with a cane each "tourist" was led by a visually challenged guide in complete darkness through various simulated situations. Now I'm already extremely nearsighted so just the thought of crossing over into complete darkness really frightens me. More on fear in a minute.

One of the simulations involves Central Park and its specific nuances. The sounds of cyclists ringing bike bells, birds chirping and my favorite, walking over a wobbly covered bridge and hearing the sounds of a nearby fountain. We were led by the voice of our guide while being urged to rely on our remaining senses. I felt so vulnerable and awkward.  The sighted take so much for granted. It is amazing the ease in which blind individuals move through life.

The last part of the experience proved to be the most nerve racking for me. It involved riding within a moving subway car with all the smells that go with that underground experience. I kept calmly calling out for Husband, poking him with my cane, or reaching out in search of him. Without giving away too many details I will say that the presence of fear of the unknown become a huge obstacle for me in that short time.

We have a friend who is blind. He also skis, runs a newsstand, has a thriving music career and spends time bowling. He shared with us that a blind person can do whatever anyone else can do. Those who cannot see are only held back by fear. With time and eduction they can learn to do anything that a sighted person can do.  All they need is courage. We can all use more courage to subdue our fears.

It's called Dialogue in the Dark.  Check it out.   http://www.dialogue-in-the-dark.com/

Page Turn. New Chapter

Since the late 80's I've worked as a TV producer in both the Philadelphia and New York Markets. I've been an executive producer, writer, host, and reporter. It has been thrilling! But nothing stays as it is. Decisions are made. Priorities are defined and employees are laid off. Such was my case.

Two months before my job ended my remarkable Mother passed away. We were close friends! A great Mother/Daughter team! The combination of Mom's death and getting laid off has caused a storm to rage in my life. My foundation,  once secure and settled has become fractured, fragile, uncertain and very emotional. Significant pieces of what once was is now gone. But it's not the end.

 As I work toward a new chapter in my life I know that writing will be at the center of it. I've been writing for years.  I have pieces of short stories and the beginnings of novels tucked away as documents on my laptop. And in the midst of all of that there are those daily moment to moment interactions I have with people and situations that are just too insightful or perhaps absurd to keep to myself, jumbled in the crevices of my mind. So I will share them with you.  

It's What I See. How I Feel. The way I Connect.

fromheadtoprose.blogspot.com

Tattoos, Piercings and Broken Windshields.

Friday December 30, 2011. We headed toward D.C. on 95 south. Car packed with technology. Still camera, video camera, iPad and  smart phones. Lots of music to keep us jamming along the way and formal wear neatly packed for our big night out at the Kennedy Center. Husband is driving, weaving through traffic. I'm in the passenger position and noticed  the driver in the next lane over. Or rather I notice a female tatted up with piercings driving a car with a broken windshield. Tatted up, pierced and a broken windshield. Sounds like lyrics to a country music song. It got me to wondering ---- when I was young-er  I didn't see people  displaying tattoos  proudly like peacocks show their feathers. Unless it was a guy who was in the navy then maybe he had an anchor on his arm that was about all I knew about tattoos. But now its a descriptive and very personal part of our culture. And the piercings. Eye brow, nose, lip tongue have replaced the commonly accepted, perhaps now considered boring ear piercings.  And that's just what's displayed NORTH of  the neck.  When you take it south, well  "you do You!"  They call it called Body Art. And it's here to stay.

Not long agoI was browsing through the aisles of Marshall's. Nearby there was a young woman with her little daughter. Yes I am prone to listen to other's conversation.  Call it the "journalist" in me. Mom was explaining to her daughter who was about six how important it is to buy long sleeve tops because you may have to cover up your tattoos in certain environments. So she continued, " think carefully before you get a tattoo because you will have to dress a certain way and buy clothes to cover them up." Of course the little girl asked, "Why Mommy?"  mom replied, "Because sometimes that is the right thing to do."

 Body Art. Think of it as an accessory drawn onto the body. Or  a petite piece of  jewelry of  choice attached to a body part through a punctured hole. Doesn't work for me but Body Art lives everywhere from Mom's shopping at Marshall's to the female headed south on 95 with the tattoos, piercings and the broken windshield.