My Bereavement Support Group, Thank You!

From October to right before Christmas I participated in a bereavement support group.  As summer came to an end my level of anxiety and sadness increased in anticipation of the fast approaching holiday season.   The hospice that Mom was in kept in touch and sent out pamphlets of information. The literature offered resources about coping with the loss of a loved one.  It mentioned support groups as one option. Never one to shy away from expressing my feelings I researched groups in my area.

Every Monday from 6:30pm - 8:30pm we gathered around a small table in a local church. We were a  diverse group from different cultures. Most came to grieve the loss of a spouse or partner. I and one other were grieving our Mothers. There were a great deal of tears and much sadness.  We passed around a box of Kleenex and shared memories of loved ones while trying to figure how to move forward in this new space of aloneness.

The group was led by an experienced facilitator. It was awkward at first. It's not easy to share your pain with strangers. But we were all tied together through the familiarity of heartache. That time together gave us a nurturing space to sort through our despair and look forward with a little less fear and a little more optimism.  We talked about our dread of the holiday season and family traditions that are now and forever altered.  Each of us listening to one another, learning how to be kind to ourselves while preparing for the season of joy.

  Although it was hard as hell I made it through the holiday season. At Christmas dinner I sat in Mom's chair. That was the moment I had been anticipating with such sadness and angst. I felt her spirit that day like I do everyday. She does not want me to be discouraged. My family and I celebrated Mom through our love, laughter and memory.

 Time goes on. Life is to be lived. The support group helped me begin to come to terms with the way my life has changed. I understand that I have to figure out how to bend and adjust to the Life changes that are inevitable. I learned how crucial it is to take care of me.  I now know that I have to be patient with myself. Grief is a journey that is different for everyone.

For more information on Bereavement Support Groups

http://vnahomecare.org/bereavement_services.html