My Memories of Kate

Organized, smart and very talented. Supportive and caring she was to me. Inquisitive and at times apprehensive about adapting her journalistic training to keep up with the new demands brought on by digital media. We often talked about how to remain competitive and marketable in an every changing industry.  She was a comrade in the fight to survive and remain relevant in an industry that is increasingly mundane and superficial.

Kate Megargee was a loving daughter who cared for her Mother in every possible way. She loved her "Mommy".  During the time we worked together at NJN Public Television we talked about caring for our aging parents. We shared personal experiences about the constant struggle to find a balance between the demands of care giving and finding time to take care of ourselves. We talked about what its like when a parent's ability to  care for themselves gradually diminishes. And we watch them become vulnerable.  Trying to do all we can to help them retain dignity and independence. Its a fine line.  Physically and emotionally taxing. But when their last breath is taken, we agreed that the the sadness will be softened just a bit, by knowing we've  done our part and loved our Moms and Dads with all the dedication, passion and love they bestowed on us.

I remember the girl talk we shared about love and relationships, marriage and living single. The quest for happiness. The search for the elusive Mr. Right.
She congratulated me on my engagement and was so very excited about my marriage. We talked about remaining hopeful, not giving up, building a life of your own and making the best of your situation.

Kate was trooper. Strong and capable. She was a friend.  A sweetheart. A warm and kind person. I'm glad we knew each other. But more importantly I'm glad we shared.

Rest in peace Kate. Give our Moms my Love.

The Trayvon Martin Killing: Sad, Senseless and Shameful

Its been almost a month since Trayvon Martin was gunned down. He was so young, just 17. His nickname was "Slimm". He wanted to be a pilot. He was looking forward to his junior prom. He had dreams. Now he's dead.

George Zimmerman is 28 years old. In 2008 he participated in a 4 month law enforcement program offered by the Seminole County sheriff's office. As part of that application he wrote, "I hold law enforcement officers in the highest regard and I hope to one day become one."
In the meantime he's been volunteering as a community watchman. That's how their paths crossed.
http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-george-zimmerman-20120323,0,6326075.story

On the night of February 26, Zimmerman was patrolling his neighborhood when he noticed Martin. He thought he was suspicious looking.  Minutes later there was an altercation between the two men. Zimmerman said he felt threatened. He shot and killed Trayvon Martin in the name of self defense.

The killing of Trayvon Martin is front and center in the media and in the hearts and minds of many.
 From Sanford, Florida where the shooting took place to Union Square in New York City where hundreds gathered as part of a "Million Hoodie March" to protest his murder, the anger and frustration is swelling.  And as Trayvon Martin's parents mourn the loss of their son they are joined by scores of others who crave justice and wonder how long before Zimmerman will be taken into custody.  He was never handcuffed and arrested.  Zimmerman wasn't  carted away by police with his head bent and pushed into the back seat of a waiting patrol car.  None of that has taken place. The  Sanford, Florida police found no reason to arrest  Zimmerman for shooting Martin with a 9mm gun. Florida's clumsy "Stand Your Ground Law" has been at the center of this heated controversy. But even Zimmerman's own attorney says the law doesn't apply to this case. http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/24/justice/florida-teen-shooting/?hpt=ju_c2 






George Zimmerman is Latino. His father wants the world to know that his son is not a racist. He comes from a multiracial family. "George is a Spanish-speaking minority with many black family members and friends," said Zimmerman's Dad. Well congratulations! So does that mean he's sensitive and respectful of different cultures? Does that mean he understands what it's like to be judged because of the color of your skin and thus he would never make assumptions? Apparently not.
http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/03/22/2708960/trayvon-martin-a-typical-teen.html
When he saw Trayvon Martin he didn't see a young kid who went horse back riding with his mom and who teachers described as, "a sweet kid." Zimmerman didn't see innocence. He assumed the worst.
There are 53,000 residents in the city of Sanford, they are mostly white. Just under a third are African American. When Trayvon Martin walked in the neighborhood with his Skittles and iced tea he not only stood out but raised suspicion for community watchman Zimmerman. George Zimmerman placed a 911 call to the cops and reported what he saw. And during that call there are allegations that Zimmerman used a racial slur. http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/24/justice/florida-teen-shooting/?hpt=ju_c2
The police instructed Zimmerman him not to follow the young male.  But Zimmerman got out of his SUV and followed Trayvon. What was that about?  Why did he get out of the car? So much for "holding law enforcement officers in the highest regard."

Minutes later Gerge Zimmerman shoots and kills Trayvon Martin. The police arrive and find Martin dead on the scene. And Zimmerman with a gun, blood on his clothing and a claim of self defense. They perform an autopsy on Trayvon Martin testing for drugs an alcohol but do not test Zimmerman for anything.

Remind me again. What year is this? 2012 ? There's an African-American president in the White House! Yet a young child, who by the President's own admission would look like his son if he had one, is dead because some wannabe cop felt threatened? Imagine for a moment how threatened Trayvon Martin felt when Zimmerman aimed that gun at his chest. Imagine the look of horror on Trayvon's handsome face when he realized he was going to die. And when Trayvon fell to the ground did Zimmerman once again feel safe?



There are so many unanswered questions about race, guns and self defense. The Department of Justice has taken over the case.  Hopefully equal justice will prevail. But even then lives are ruined, dreams are shattered. Trayvon Martin will not attend his senior prom and never attain his pilots license. And George Zimmerman well, he's got blood on his hands and instead of wearing a policeman's uniform he's become the latest poster child for America's ongoing struggle with race relations.

Whitney Houston Was Part Of Us

"We've Come to Praise His Name".  That's one of the first songs the choir sang during Whitney's Houston beautiful, comforting and very dignified homegoing service at New Hope Baptist Church in Newark, NJ.  My sister was a member of  New Hope and sang in the choir.  I can still see her standing in the choir loft wearing her choir robe singing her heart out, praising her heavenly father. My sister passed away many years ago and her service was held at New Hope. New Hope means something very special to me.

Growing up in Newark during the aftermath of the 1967 riots I learned how pride, dignity and strength can empower neighborhoods and help families work through hard times and build hope for better days to come. I began to understand how community is as much a process as it is a place. If you came from Newark you were part of that community. And when you had dreams and worked hard for their fulfillment, well, we all succeeded. And we were so grateful! That was another song they sang at Whitney's homegoing service, "Grateful". We are so grateful for Whitney. Her soul. Her spirit. Her music and her life. We all shared in her success and prayed for her during her struggles. She really was a beacon of light for Newark, NJ. She was part of us and we were a part of her. We were community.

I never met Whitney Houston. But in a strange way I've known her all my life. Like family, I know where she came from.  She was a brown girl from the inner city and by virtue of her zip code she was surrounded by all the trappings of  temptation. She was rooted in the Black church. And simply adored by her family.  Those are two important tools that she would rely on to help her move through her life and negotiate struggles. A belief in God and the love of family. Priceless!

The City of Newark really experienced something remarkable this week. Whitney's fans held vigil outside Whigham's funeral home. I watched from  across the street on the steps of a dental office along with other Whitney fans and Newark natives. It was surreal to witness both national media and home grown folk converge on Martin Luther King Jr.  Boulevard, now decorated with balloons, cards and candles, all in the name of Whitney. She was our Whitney.


Unexpectedly, Whitney Houston's death has managed to agitate the still very tender spot of grief I endure since my Mom's  passing. I really missed my Mom this week. She would have been so hurt by Whitney's sudden passing. Mom knew what it was like to loose a daughter. She would feel deeply for the gut wrenching pain and sorrow that now grips Whitney's Mother Cissy Houston, today and to some degree, for the rest of her life.  Mom and I, we loved Whitney. We wanted her to be well. I missed not being able to talk with her about all the media attention occurring in the neighborhood, right down the hill from our home. I would confide in her that I've been crying. Mom would understand my tears. We would share our sadness.  But instead I will listen to Whitney's music and hear her sing the songs that have become part of the soundtrack of my life's journey.  Whitney Houston is resting now. And I am certain that my Mom greeted her with a big smile and said , "Hey Girl how you doing? It's so nice to meet you! My daughter Linda, she just loves you! We all love you Whitney. Welcome Home!"

See Whitney Houston Performing 'I didn't Know My Own Strength' on the Oprah Show in 2009

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Whitney-Houstons-I-Didnt-Know-My-Own-Strength-Video

ROLAND MARTIN, TWITTER & A TEACHABLE MOMENT

About twitter....If you are compelled to communicate according to the 140 character limit prescribed by the Tweeterverse then do us all a favor and tweet responsibly. Is that too much ask? Probably.  That's the thing about this social media space, there are no parameters. No guidelines on best practices. No manners. But lots of room for disrespect, insensitivity and missteps.

Just ask CNN Political Analyst Roland Martin. He tweeted while watching the recent Superbowl and a commercial featuring David Beckham modeling his line of men's underwear for H&M. Here's what he said: "Ain't no real bruhs going to H&M to buy some damn David Beckham underwear!"
"If a dude at your Super Bowl party is hyped about Beckham's
 H &M underwear ad, smack the ish out of him."
In another Tweet he wrote, "Who the hell was that New England Patriot they just showed in a head to toe pink suit? Oh, he needs a visit from #teamwhipdatass."

Really? Did he think he was tweeting to his friends around the table? When he hit send he tweeted to folks he has never even met. In Twitter lingo those people are referred to as his "followers".  So if you have followers it is presumed that you lead.  What a missed opportunity. Or maybe not.

There was immediate outrage from the Gay and Lesbian community calling his remarks homophobic and calling for his firing.  There have been countless acts of violence and intolerance against the Gay and Lesbian community. When people live in a climate of hate and ridicule it's not hard to understand how his comments sent up red flags and were perceived as insensitive. When young men and women are being bullied and committing suicide because their sexual preference is deemed unacceptable, there's a great deal at stake.
Roland Martin apologized and said he meant no harm.
http://www.rolandsmartin.com/blog/?p=31665
Too quote Carly Simon, " But it's too late baby, now it's too late."

 Mr. Martin is a journalist on a major cable news network. He also hosts a weekly show, Washington Watch on  TV One.
 His profile is very visible. He delivers political commentary on a daily basis. He has a platform.  But I guess he got caught up in the moment and forget how much power he holds.  He forgot that in the land of Twitter he is a leader with 'followers'.  He forgot that any type of social media is essentially a platform, especially when you are a recognized, high profile person. When public figures from any walk of life engage in forms of social media like twitter, that's exactly what they are doing 'engaging' masses of people.  And all eyes are watching from 'Big Brother' to his little sister, groups, organizations and others who are known only by their hashtag. Some things really are better left unsaid on Twitter or anywhere else.  High profile or low profile we should all slow down and think twice before we hit send.

CNN eventually suspended Roland Martin acknowledging in a statement that his tweets were, "regrettable and offensive" and said that he would "not be appearing on our air for the time being." http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/08/politics/cnn-roland-martin/index.html?iref=allsearch

On the Internet people are debating if CNN's actions were too weak or too hard. Either way his comments will forever be attached to him. Whenever you google Roland Martin this episode of inappropriate tweeting will surface along with other more professional and distinguished associations. Is Martin homophobic? Maybe he is. Maybe he isn't. But his actions are a clear example of how strong and far reaching social media can be. What started as a tweet intended to amuse ended as, "oops, my bad!"

The National Association of Black Journalists, NABJ, released a statement saying, "We are reminded that what we communicate in print and broadcast--and now through social media--has considerable power. NABJ does not support any commentary in any medium that is insensitive or offensive." They added, "this a teachable moment for all journalists."
http://www.nabj.org/news/83265/Statement-from-NABJ-on-Roland-Martins-Suspension-from-CNN.htm

Martin in damage control mode has agreed to meet with GLAAD, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. In a tweet he wrote, "I look forward to meeting with GLAAD in the near future and having a productive dialogue." GLAAD in a tweet response wrote, "We look forward to a productive dialogue and to working together as well."

 As a well known journalist he is being held to a high standard. But listen, to whom much is given, much is expected. He should have known better. I bet he knows now. His tweets were childish. So now Roland Martin has to take a time out.  No missed opportunity here. This is most definitely a teachable moment.

DON CORNELIUS, A TELEVISION PIONEER

On February 1, 2012, early in the morning, Don Cornelius age 75, the creator and the genius behind Soul Train was found dead in his California home.  All day long I've been thinking about Don Cornelius, Soul Train and the Soul Train line.

Just the two words; Soul Train brings me back to Saturday mornings in the kitchen, my mom and I doing chores and watching Soul Train on channel 5. Anybody who was anybody in the soul r & b family was greeted by Don Cornelius and invited to take center stage to perform.  Cornelius was the executive producer and host of Soul Train from 1971 to 1993. It was his vision to produce a program that would highlight and embrace Black artists and their music in a way that Dick Clark's American Bandstand didn't do. Don Cornelius presented to the world an authentic slice of the Black experience that had been invisible until Soul Train. And at the end of every show he offered his legendary close wishing us , "Love, Peace and Soul." Soul Train was part of my young adulthood. The dancers with the flashy clothes and cool dance moves was something special to me.

Soul Train was actually a locomotive. For real. Think about it. It was a train, at least in the sense that you were invited to get on board. The open for the show included animation of a train with a smokestack and a caboose. To this day, at a wedding or party the Soul Train continues to come to life every time folks line up on the left and on the right, creating a space down the middle where two by two or solo, you can bring your best move and groove on down the Soul Train line. Now don't get me wrong, I mean no disrespect to the Electric Slide or any other line dance variation but the Soul Train line came first and I like it better.  Why?  Because when you come down the soul train line you don't have to know the step or even keep in step.  All you have to do is bring your own boogie!

Don Cornelius is gone now.  Reports say the cause of his death is a self inflicted gun shot wound to the head. I'm not going to begin to address issues related to suicide. I'll write about that in future blogs. But what I will say here and now is that Don Cornelius' life and legacy far exceeds the manner of his death. I don't know the details of his personal life or the depth of his misery and anguish. But for me,  Don Cornelius was a cool soul brother. A visionary who created a groundbreaking platform that presented Black music, dance, pride and celebration to the world. He was a pioneer who used television as his platform to present positive images of the black experience through music and dance. He created an institution born in the 70's during the height of Afro's and platform shoes. Soul Train ended decades later in 2006. It is one of the longest running shows in television history. It provided a venue for a long list of Black musical artists, Black style, Black dance and Black culture to be seen and heard on television. Don Cornelius gave us Soul Train and the Soul Train Line. Those creations are a testament to his life and legacy. And I am very grateful!!!!!!

Dear Don, I wish you lasting Love, eternal Peace and the rest your Soul desires.

Watch video of the Soul Train gang on the Soul Train line
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qglBm-N-Lnw

Friendship on Stage at the State of the Union

Did anyone notice the warm embrace shared between President Barack Obama and Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords just before the January 24th State of the Union address?  I pay close attention to reactions and body language as much as I do the spoken word. Or maybe even more. As the President moved through the aisle greeting members of congress and distinguished guests, the stage had already been set for this moment. A year ago, Congresswoman Giffords was severely injured. The victim of a shooting that shocked, angered and saddened the entire nation. She wasn't present at last year's State of the Union address. She was struggling to stay alive. Her husband, NASA astronaut Mark Kelley was there to represent her.

One year later Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords is back on her feet. It has been an unimaginable road to recovery. She has many miles ahead of her as the healing process continues. But deep inside her, in that place where you draw strength from, I know it as Spirit, hers is relentless. Even though a deranged gunmen did all he could to extinguish her fiery commitment to service, she lives, she breathes, she moves forward and she  continues to inspire!

The vicious Arizona shooting took the lives of six and wounded 13 others. And it happened on President Barack Obama's watch. Senseless agony and heartache. So when they embraced it looked as if they did so with every inch of arm they had to extend. Reaching out to hug, hold and honor. And they stood there and rocked side to side. And in one final testament to their friendship and support of each other Congresswoman Giffords laid her head on President Obama's shoulder and closed her eyes. It was an authentic moment of caring between friends.

http://www.usatoday.com/video/news/raw-video-obama-hugs-giffords-at-state-of-union/1412503106001

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/video/rep-debbie-wasserman-schultz-cries-at-gabby-giffords-resignation-15439114

The next day Giffords stepped down from her seat in Congress so she can focus on her recovery. Standing by her side, colleague and good friend South Florida Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman- Shultz. Wasserman-Schultz spoke on Giffords behalf as she read her letter of resignation. But before she read the official statement she tearfully talked about her friend Gabby and everything she and her family have endured this past year. And with her voice cracking she offered a personal reflection, “It's important to remember that no matter what we argue about on this floor or in this country, there is nothing more important than family and friendship. And that should be held on high above all else."         

Sounds good to me!

Another Murder in My Hometown

Around 6pm on Tuesday January 18, 2012 Miquel Torres of Newark, NJ was working at the store he owned. Forty minutes later he was pronounced dead at University hospital.  He was fatally shot at gun point. Police suspect the motive was robbery.

When I was a young girl lived not far from this crime scene. My home and grammar school were  within walking distance of Mr. Torres' store. Back then I would walk up the block with my friends through this neighborhood on my way to the park not worried about bullets flying or store owners dying. The streets were safer back in the day. Violence wasn't part of the neighborhood's fabric like it is now. It felt comfy, strong and reliable. Now its dangerous, weak and difficult to trust.

Many years later Dad continues to live in my childhood home. While driving there today,  I stopped at a traffic light by the corner store where Mr. Torres probably worked hard to sustain his business. I sat at the red light and noticed the all too familiar yellow crime scene tape, the police patrol car and a TV news crew. The light turned green and I pulled off  past the store where I noticed a man speaking to a woman. They both looked sad. But the woman's face grimaced with sorrow and despair. Maybe she knew Mr. Torres. Maybe she lived in this gun ridden and violent part of town. Whoever she was she felt the tragedy of this loss of life. Last summer this same intersection was riddled with bullets that claimed one life from a drive by shooting.

Police say whoever shot Miquel Torres didn't get much for their desperate act. Apparently business was very slow. The lottery machine was broken and he wasn't accepting food stamps. So chances are there wasn't a large amount cash on hand. Maybe he gave the assailant the few dollars he had in his pocket.  Maybe the shooter was pissed off  because there he was he standing on the edge of destruction about to throw his life away trying to play gangsta for nothing but chump change.

The murderer got away. Police are looking for two suspects. The investigation is on going. The authorities have released photos of the predators taken from the surveillance camera. Dad and I talked about today's shooting that took place down the hill not far from house. It's like living in a war zone surrounded by heavy artillery.  I kissed Dad goodbye and he said, "Don't drive back that way." I didn't. I took another street. Along the way at a major intersection stood a big digital law enforcement sign. You couldn't miss it. In flashing red letters it pleaded:

REWARD FOR INFORMATION. YOUR HELP NEEDED.  JNC MINI MARKET STORE OWNER MURDER. 

Just this week there have been seven shootings in Newark, NJ. According to published reports, Miquel Torres leaves behind a wife, a 6 year old son and two teenage step children. The 37 year old store owner is Newark's third homicide this year.

Someone said to me this weekend that Newark is really coming around. There are great plans for Newark. In the downtown area the infrastructure is getting stronger.  Well good for downtown! But what about around town where people live, own businesses and try to raise families like Miquel Torres?

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2012/01/newark_police_seek_two_suspect.html